Oldy but Goodie!

Going through my old blogs and felt the need to reblog this!
(Disclaimer-I am not calling myself a B*tch but for those more uneducated folk that confuse a good women and a bad B*tch i want you to be able to understand this also.

Why men cheat!! Where is Blogxilla..you remember this?

 

WOW, so as usual my girl and I are on MySpace and my mans blogxilla sends this post: Why men cheat. So of course we check it out and are pretty flabbergasted at the contents and the way men think, and no longer wonder why WE are single.

It says men cheat because you don't have the rite "bitch" on your team, and that you can't find a complete woman with the following traits. So here is what a real women or in your terms that real "bitch" has to say.


1- One who takes care of kids
Honesly, if you are having troubles finding a woman who you think will be good with kids it sounds like you need to learn how to make better judgment calls on the women whom you choose to date, or I should say try to get into their pants and depending on how they can please you decide if you will keep them around. But we will get into that at a later time.



2- one who washes clothes and cooks
What to say to this. I will agree that some women can't cook if their life depended on it and you know sometimes we don't feel like picking up your dirty drawls off the floor, thats because men don't appreciate it. Take it from someone who knows. I cooked, cleaned, made sure lunch was ready everyday while working two jobs and going to school, the whole nine. But after awhile of doing that and you feel like you are not appreciated you get pissed off!! Can I get a thanks, lunch was good, something… not request of what you want the next day cause your co-workers wife "made" her pizza from scratch…can the bitch make gumbo!!!!
(Sidenote I didn't know black men watched Rachel Ray…I think I be doing something when I make her dishes and they think I concocted the dish myself.)



3- One who is independent and don't really need ur ass
That's a good one ,but do you really want that. Make up your mind. First ya say she to independent she thinks she doesn't need a man, then when we say we need you or show it, women are to needy. Lets put it like this. Women, we don't need you. We want you, but not a need.

A real women is going to stand by her man regardless of what goes down. But we need to know you will do the same thing. Men are just as trife as women. No, don't expect us to pay the first, second maybe third date because if she is a real women, like myself, she will no longer respect you as a man if she has to pay the first date, point blank. If it's the first time we are going out and your looking at me to pay the bill, don't get it twisted I will do it, but you better believe there won't be a second date.

That is what the problem is with men and women now-a days, our roles are getting twisted because men can't step up, and as women we feel we have no choice but to be as much of a man that men no longer know how to be. Dang, please read the last statement one more time before going on….but anyways I want to know that a man has no problem paying for dinner for me, because as a real women if I see you as a potential mate, all my man will have to do is ask and if I can do it, it is his. I have spent my last on my man , on shoes, shirts, game tickets, pleased him when I was tired, and so forth and to say he can't pay for a meal that's messed up, i might as well be pleasing and spoiling myself.

And it's sad but no lie the last time I went to dinner and the guy paid with no problem I was wet as heck, not to mention cause he was fine too but still that's some real grown man stuff.



4) one who sucks a mean one and has the best sex.

Ok, lest address a girl says she doesn't give head. Sorry ladies I have to tell it but it's a lie. Women give head, the reason a women may say that is honestly she doesn't think you are worthy enough. One.. you can't give head to any and everybody. I know if I am doing that I need know that it's my dick, did I just say that?

And men when will you understand that sex for a real women and not someone that is trying to get broke off real quick is also mental. Im sorry but a women can make herself cum in 2.5 seconds so just cause you can do that doesn't mean anything….but if you can come home for lunch, work or if your just laying in bed and your fingers just so happens to graze over her canal of love and it's flooding you a bad mamma jamma. That means you have penetrated the very essence of her womanhood and that's when you wake up to head at 4 in the morning before work, and you get work visits for lunch with your girl wearing a long coat and ….



5- one who watches sportcenter wit you

That's cool, but all day and night..come on now. I admit I can get down with the best of em when it comes to most sports but sometimes you want a break.

In conclusion men cheat because they are unappreciative or because they do not know what to do with a good women when they come across her. A good women isn't going to give you the best sex and head ever the first time you meet. Give it time don't leave her alone because you didn't get head after the 2nd date. That takes time. Men want quick fixes and don't want to put in the work it takes to get or keep a good women. Those women become the best friend, the one the man goes to to try and figure out how to get that girl with the big ol' booty when the entire time that "real" bitch is right there waiting for that guy to figure out she is really the one.

The Waiting Game

When is it time to stop playing the waiting game?

So many times have I heard my girls

say, I called him 5 hours ago and he just now is returning my call with a text. How many times do I have to call him beforehe calls me back? I want to go out with him this weekend but he isn’t giving me a straight answer nor is he picking up my calls, WTH! Well ladies, sorry to say but you need to stop playing his game and start doing and being your own women. This means do the things that YOU want to do and start then looking at your significant other as a person if YOU BOTH have time he can fit in YOUR schedule.

Let’s look at some facts here. I have always

been taught and found true that a man is going to spend time with whom and what he wants, when he wants. This is not something new that women haven’t heard before, so why don’t we act accordingly. I say stop creating this imaginary relationship in your head of how you want it to be or how you think it should be and take it for what it is.

It doesn’t take men that long to know what it takes to keep a woman around or keep them happy. With that being said, as a women you should now when you are being seen as someone he just wants to keep around until he finds that “someone better” he feels that he can find, and when he is really trying. For a woman this is hard, trust me I know, but you really need to know who to act accordingly and

not think with so much emotion and use more logic. Men have this down packed but women, man o man, you make a women feel like you have no time for them you can get them tires slashed and windows busted at the drop of a dime, but hey who really has time for that. BUT there is help for us women! Not only will this help you keep your sanity but really this is how it should be, men do this all the time. Here is the secret, have your own life and do what you enjoy doing without depending on another

person to give happiness to your life.

Now you may say whatever I do that, that’s common sense. That could very well be true but just be realistic about your situations right now. Let me quickly tell ya how this works. Let’s say you have someone you are trying to get to know/be with and you guys have made plans, but for some odd reason when it is time to do what you planned all of a sudden they are MIA(missing in action). Don’t sit there and call and call and call making excuses and so forth. Always have a plan B. It’s not being mean or an a*hole but just have a plan because if not you sit there and start to let your mind create all type of crazy things. BUT if you have something else to do you learn to deal with the situation

when its time and you don’t feel like your time is wasted. When he finally calls and you here his story

you can either accept it, or say hey this aint workin cause I see a pattern and I want something different.

Same with the phone calls. Don’t sit there

waiting all day for someone to call you and when they don’t get upset. And then when they don’t call you, you are calling them. If someone waits 2-3 days to call you and you constantly calling them you should really see where you stand. Have your own life. If you have a life and do things that you enjoy doing your really not gonna be waiting every second by the phone calling someone then being upset and feeling like someone is wasting your time. You may see this as a game, but it’s really just realizing the importance of your life and your happiness, and learning you don’t need to depend on the opposite sex.

On another note though, once

someone sees that hey, you see your time as valuable and you’re not gonna sit there and wait for them to get it together.. this pushes a little sense of urgency on

their part. If a man feels you not going anywhere he will continue to do what he does because he feels he need not put in any work cause you will always be there sitting and waiting. BUT if you have your own life and there is room for you to either find someone that will make the time you, for another man to show you he has time for you, or for you to

realize that he may not be all you want/need him to be NOW he has to Sh*t or

get off the pot.

Get Money

I was talking to an old college buddy today and our convo was cut short because I had to go to the part-time job. She was like” what! You still work for the company; I remember when you first got that job and the reason.” We both started laughing but internally it also got me to thinking. 

 It was my senior year at U of I and it was my birthday. My guy at the time birthday was coming up and I wanted to give him this nice party at the hotel with gifts and everything. Soooo, I got a job. Now this may be a natural event of life to some, but to me I was blessed to not really have to work unless I had to pay bills(at least not have to work crazy in college). But anyways, I interviewed and was offered the job on MY birthday and started this 9 year journey with the part time.

As I think back to all the years I have stayed at this job I have this love hate relationship with it. I have wanted to quit for years but haven’t. Since I haven’t, I thought why am I still here? I think back to the times I say I am going to quit in the summer or hope they fire me because I tell them I can only work one day but I notice I always start working more when I have a significant other I want to spoil, and then start working even more when I am single again. I remember working two jobs as I always have when I started my career and going to school all so that I can be this “super women” and prove you deserve me. When I think back who in their right mind that has no kids and no real responsibility would do all this to try and keep a significant other happy when unfortunately they

didn’t feel the same about you. As I continue to think about this, even though I say I am going to quit I don’t. Why? Well, as I start this journey of self I notice one thing, ok two things about why I keep it.

I enjoy being able to give my significant other gifts.(It’s usually their love language, which I will be talking about in a later blog) Within the 9 years I have just learned to do it for those who I feel will appreciate it; cause trust me as you get older the toys they want get more and more expensive and I am a freakin sucker for a happy man so you do what you feel you need to do.

But the most important thing I have noticed for me and others is the desire to want, and need money will NEVER fade. Being able to enjoy the single life the past few years I noticed that there are a lot of things I can/ want to do that makes ME happy. I can

spend my money on ME and be just as happy. Who would have thought. Now until I get completely set in my career and get my job that will require me to not have to work the part time(stupid society for under appreciating teachers) which is looking

like it’s in the cards for next school year, I will still work it for that just in case factor.

Moral of my story …I may think twice about how I spend my

money BUT I WON’T think twice about getting money. When yo man aint got no time to spend with ya, use that time to make money . It always come with the rewards of spending! AND trust me a man aint always about to stop

doing what he doing if he wants to do something so stay busy and GET MONEY!

Friends??

(As I write this blog I am thinking of someone who I would have loved to have a friendship with and could have learned so much from, had no bad feelings toward this person and actually thought she was pretty and extra nice but sometimes people look at you in a completely different way without even getting to know you)

How many people can you say TRULY have your back? As I think of where my life has started when it comes to those in my life and where I am today, I would have to say I have had a lot of very instrumental people that have played a huge part of my life. Now the ones that have been the most instrumental I would call my BFF’s but as I start to embrace this whole “reality of life” and not the reality of “my world” I have come across one frightening thought. Everyone wants something from you, one way or another or they think you are trying to take something from them( taking something is usually not the case). Now the things that may be needed from you don’t always have to be physical things. It could be unconditional friendship, selfless acts, the dependability factor and the list goes on. And in return you are the same way.

When I think about my female friends I think of my core. My core is my ride or die girls. We have been in fights for each other, lied for each other, been there for each other even when something stupid was done and never judged one another. But this type of friendship took time and it is always greatly appreciated, but we sometimes wonder why is it so hard to bring others into our circle.

When I think about the females we get introduced to as we get older it’s a whole different arena. Friendships take forever, if ever to develop because for some reason females have this katty ass shield around them that doesn’t allow them to accept one another (that is unless they don’t see you as a threat). You look at another female and start to size them up. “O, she thinks she bad.” “Who does she think she is” WTH!!! Honestly can we all just get along? I admit I use to be like that but then I realized I have no reason to be jealous of anyone because honestly I can do what they do and better if I choose. Not only that you NEVER know what a person goes through during their day to day life. I lost the opportunity to have some really great people in my life because of insecurities and I thought their life was so much better when honestly we needed each other to bounce back the trails and tribulations of this thing called life. Whether some of the people in my life could have been friends or acquaintances I could have learned soooo much from them and they could have learned from me.

But until then when someone has their nosed snarled up at me and says smart comments like you think you bad I will respond….” No, but obviously you do since that’s the first things that comes to your mind when you see me. I’m just a women trying to make the best of life and learn and enjoy all I can while I am here on Earth with or without your liking of me

.

Circle of life

        

     Just 12 days into the New Year and I am emotionally drained. Now, the circle of life waits for no one, but yet continues for everyone. I remember having a talk with my father and he told me that the only thing that is promised in life is death. For a long time this was something that went in one ear and out the other until recent times. I watch the news and see people constantly dying, getting killed, etc but yet until it reaches close to home its “Just life”. BUT when it finally hits the home front it’s like a slap in the face with a thick sheet of ice.

       When it’s not your family and a really close friend loses their family it hurts just as bad. I have had this keen ability to kind of enclose myself in this fantasy world where everything is all peaches and cream and nothing goes wrong, but now more than ever I find myself having to face and accept reality. As I think of what to say to my loved ones I go through the process of, what I should do, what I should say, are my words and actions really good enough. Though in

the past few situations I can’t say I know what you’re going through and this helped me…. I think to myself is that

really what they want to hear, man, would that be what I would want to hear . I see my friends and I really want to be able to help, console, talk, ease their pain but yet I’m trying my hardest to hold back tears because I can feel and see THEIR pain, THEIR grief. In the end all I can say is whatever you need let me know. If they know or not I will pray that they receive comfort, understanding, and strength through their difficult time. As I pray for them and their family I think of the song, The battle is not Yours….I shed more tears singing “ There is no sadness Jesus can’t feel and there is no sorrow that he can heal. For all things work according to the master holy will. No matter what, you’re going through remember God is only using you.

For the battle is not yours it’s the Lords.”

        The circle of life is a crazy thing. Unfortunately no one knows when their time is coming. I say please appreciate the people that are in your life as I try to do the same. When God decides to bring you home your job here on earth is done and all that will be left and really appreciated are the good memories that your loved ones have of you. And when your friends and family loses a loved one all you can really do is be there. Reality is we will all be on both ends during this lifetime so make the best of it as the ones that have gone on has.

To Gary Lyon (R.I.P 1/9/12) I remember being at your wedding, and seeing how happy Barb was and how she always had great things to say about you. Talking to you, you were always so positive. Now God needs you at his table. This is not goodbye but a see you later. We will all soon be at that table.

To Peter (R.I.P 1/8/12) though I do not know you personally Ruth has had nothing but great things to say about you. Even though I never had to opportunity to meet you this year you will be missed dearly.

Rekindling the Flame

             Well ll its been almost a year to the date that I started this blog and  attempted to keep up my thoughts and journey doing a show.  As you can see it didn't work out, but hey, it was a start.  Anyways I am going to try again but it will not be just focused on doing a show (which I do hope to do soon) but for lifes' thoughts in general.

            Now before I start to get into the nitty gritty and talk about conversationsI may have with my girls or thoughts that may float through my head there are a 2 important rules we need to adhere to from the jump and I am sure I may have to add more later

1) Don't take it personal.....I have had people think that I have made post or other comments about them on fb and other social media but trust me!! NO ONE is that "special" for me to waste my time and energy on some petty highschool bs


2)Take what you read for what it is.....Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and beliefs.  I am choosing to let you into a glimpse of my world,  if you disagree thats fine.  I am not trying to point a gun to your head and make you believe or do any and everything I do and say.

Now that that is out the way we can move on!  For those who know me well you know I love all type of music.  I am going to try and put a video of how/what I am feeling during every blog. Music is one of the keys to our emotions and goes with the beat of our heart

Here is my official reintroduction to my world, my virutal insanity! Enjoy till next time!

5 days out...Dear Carbs

Well...I know I said that I would keep a steady update on my progress but something came up. (Please don't ask me what cause I could probably give you 5 hundred thousand reasons) But anyways I am now 5 days out and this journey is coming to an end. I will keep a day to day update/letter until the show, no excuses. I have grown in every way imaginable during this 12 week process. I swear I don't think I have ever worked this hard for anything. I have said NO to pizza, ribs, ice cream, and apple pie and after awhile there was no need to cry to my pillow because I did what I had to do. On the flip side I know how to make better choices and I look kinda decent...who would have thought. I've learned about focus, discipline, determination, and realized my inner competitiveness is a lot stronger then what I give out. I don't have to much time today but I will end with a letter to my friend, you never really know what you have till its gone.

Dear Carbs,

Hello (head down, sad voice) It hasn't been that long since I had to part ways with you, and it won't be for long but I have to say I miss you. In the past I have taken you for granted and never really realized how tasty and filling you can be, but man o man I can't wait for you to be in my life again. I promise when I am done I won't pick the bad ones so much because I have learned about making better choices and to be honest I like fitting in my size___ (you fill in the blank) pants. Anyways I have to become really, really, really good friends with water until you return, please understand and don't be mad. I will make it up to you soon.